Meet Nala

So I realise that I post a lot of pictures with my little pickle demon Nala in, but have never properly introduced her. Bad Human.
So here is a little introductory post with ALL the pictures because I think she is beautiful, I don’t take constructive criticism on this point.

Profile:

Date of Birth: 8th May 2019. Shes a Taurus, this explains EVERYTHING.
Fave food: ALL of it, especially ham, or any food outside that she shouldn’t eat, or whatever human is holding.
Loves: Belly rubs, chewing feet, shredding toilet roll, sniffing and chasing pigeons. And snuggling as close as possible to anyone sat on the sofa.
Hates: Baths, rain, wind and being woken up.
Nicknames: Devil, Demon, Pickle, Pickle demon, Peach, Poppet, Pickle juice, Nala bean, Little Poppet… mostly Pickle.
 

Normal daily routine (according to Nala)

6am: Wake up humans by sitting on face/pillow/flop dramatically on their stomach. Sigh. Grumble. Lick their nose or ears.
6am-7am: Repeat above until female human rolls out of bed. Most days I am sat on her stomach so she has to move me first, grumble and nibble hands when she does this.
Bite socks, end of trousers and jumper while human bumbles around in the semi dark, this is how to help humans get dressed before they are fully awake.
Follow human to bathroom in case they forget about me, ROOO.
Nibble human feet as she goes to put shoes on, steal at least one shoe, she loves it, I can tell, she says “NALA NO” very loudly. Some days I lie down and wait for her to get ready like I am supposed to, keeps them guessing.
7-8am: WALKIES oh my god, sniffs, runs, dogs to see, more sniffs, pee in the most awkward spot possible, sniff a bit more. 
Lie down like a collie when you see another dog approaching, bonus if you are in the middle of crossing a road. Somehow become 100x heavier than you actually are so human cannot move you.
8-9: Arrive back HOME, sprint to the bedroom/ sofa and jump on dad, must land with all 4 feet on his stomach to make sure he is awake. Nibble ear as morning greeting. 
Stare at human in the shower in case they forget to let me lick their legs after, then hang over the sofa arm and whimper in case they forget breakfast. Scatter all the cushions off the sofa and rearrange the blankets, important this is done at least once a day so humans get their daily bending down exercise.
9am-12: Sleep, until 12 if you are feeling kind, else ask for 2nd walk at 1030. Chew feet, bark and generally be a nuisance until they give in. Repeat actions from am walk. Poop as far from a bin as possible to make the walk last longer. Ignore all human attempts to work on not shoving snooter into everyone I meet. Occasionally pay attention so human thinks training is making progress, this is a lie.
Afternoon: sleep, wake up and stare  hopefully whenever human moves, stands up or opens fridge, at random intervals do zoomies, grab a ball/squeaky pig and smack human with it, climb on their heads and chew ears. this is especially fun when they are holding drinks.
If human gives frozen kong to chew its best to bury it in the sofa somewhere so it is easier to eat when it has defrosted, human will sit on it when melted and tell you off again, FUN. They always give strokes if I lie next to them, do this multiple times a day but refuse to lie still for more that 10 mins. Frequently rest nose on laptop and press ALL the buttons, if they are trying to watch TV lie on the remote so it changes channel, do this at every key scene or important news bulletin. Pretend its an accident.
Chew feet, v important.
3-5pm: Pretend to be interested in training when human tries to teach you things, after 10 ish treats pretend your brain has melted so bark and chew feet some more until they take you for a walk instead. If you meet anyone at all pull towards them, flop on their feet and act like you get zero attention at home, if you meet a new BEST FRIEND in the lift refuse to leave. Human enjoys explaining to strangers that I do in fact get attention at home. This is clearly a lie.
 
6-7pm: DINNNER OH MY GOD, repeat hanging over the sofa arm until human feeds me, they especially like it if you jump onto the kitchen counter in the process. The more they say “No” the better I am behaving right? Sometimes go to the corner of the sofa/my bed like I have been taught, this is only to mess with them, don’t do it again for a week.
7-9pm: Pass out on the sofa, be as close to humans as possible, they like it when i dig into somewhere squishy with elbows, which form 90% of my anatomy.
At some point walk off and reappear with dads slipper to chew, I normally like to plonk it in humans lap so they can see how clever I am for opening the spare room door. NAP.
10-11pm: Repeat zoomies from earlier, chew feet some more and steal shoes. If mum is asleep flop on the bed loudly and somewhere that totally stops her moving. Sigh until taken for last pee.
Pass out until 6am

How my friends describe her:

She may be crazy and a total whirlwind at times that has pushed my patience with puppy antics to the limit and ruined way too many socks. But she is also friendly to a fault, loving, adventurous, exceptionally tolerant of me messing around with ears, feet, tail, nose, admiring teeth, and I wouldn’t have her any other way.

Some days are exhausting but she has done more to improve my mental health than I know how to put into words. Thanks for putting up with me Pickle.

Bonus Puppy Pics

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