I’m lying in the dark in an unfamiliar bed, it’s a warm night but I’m cold, the deep cold that reaches to your very core, where you can’t tell if you’ll ever be warm again.
I’m scared and alone and afraid, I can’t cope with this anymore. I can’t see a future where anything works, where things are happy, where I have a job and am surrounded by people that love me. This doesn’t fit in my head somehow.
I’m tired, I want this merry-go-round to end, this ride to finish so I can get off.
I want things to stop spinning, my head to be quiet and still.
I’m scared mum, I think I’ve gone too far this time and I don’t know if I can come back.
I don’t want to be alone anymore.
I want to come home.